bjournal::juxtapoz

I knew you were all curious, so here goes. The four big areas were: BMI, Blood Pressure, LDL, and Serum Cotinine. I was well beneath company goals for BMI, though technically overweight by NIH standards. My blood pressure was under NIH standards at 119/64. My LDL was 124, which beats my company standards by quite a bit, but also is well above NIH standards. I was also negative for Serum Cotinine, which is not shocking.

There were other interesting results as well, which are listed in an joyful aliterative and acronymic chorus. My cholesterol/HDL ratio is an acceptable 4.8, as is my LDL/HDL ratio. My globulin and glucose are fine. My ALB/GLO ratio is solid, but I am a little low on my ALP, though, which could mean I am suffering from malnutrition. I have a good BUN (almost anybody with good vision could tell you that, though) and my Bilirubin is excellent. My triglycerides were higher than they should be, and wikipedia had this to say about getting them down:

Moderating the consumption of fats, alcohol and carbohydrates and partaking of aerobic exercise are considered essential to reducing triglyceride levels. The American Heart Association notes that diets high in carbohydrates (>60% of total caloric intake) can cause higher triglyceride levels. Triglyceride levels are reduced by Omega-3 fatty acids from fish, flax seed oil or other sources.

I pretty much cracked up at that first part.

All in all, it appears as though I am pretty healthy. That said, I plan on getting a real live doctor at some point in the very near future.

Also, it should be noted that, unlike other people at my school, I definitely did not try to do well on this test. In fact, I tried hard to be a bit more excessive than I normally would be, since I was actually curious about the results.

But don’t you worry, I’ll keep you updated on all of my health-related concerns, including a play-by-play of my future prostate exam.

That’s a joke, by the way.